Grace and Truth

…all the words of this life…

Tag Archives: God


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Human selfishness, self-absorption and self-focus become absolutely stark in the face of losing two of the most selfless, giving women I have ever known. I lost my Jenny, on Saturday. I lost my Grandma on Tuesday night.

Jenny was my friend, my helper for 3 years in the food pantry, my support, my encourager, the glue that held things together.

Grandma was part of the foundation of who I am. She was someone who loved me unconditionally, unreservedly. She was my Granny-Apple-Bee.

Both women have gone home to Christ, and for that I am so grateful. yet I still feel I have been kicked in the guts. The pain I feel for them is real physical pain. that has surprised me.

I miss them so much. And I don’t know who to grieve for. sometimes I cry over jenny, I think of her phone calls, her telling me I’m special. I think of her real, down-to-earth practical help and I know that she is unique.

sometimes I cry for my grandma. when I heard that she haad gone I cried out for her “grandma, grandma, I want my grandma” I went into shock and shook uncontrollably.

I don’t know why im writing this on here it s so raw, but I feel I must.

when I think of Jesus saying “the son of man came not to be served, but to serve” I have seen that literally in these two women and I miss them more.


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Jenny

Your name means ‘white light’
And that is so true
For to me you were an angel
Although that is what you called me

The last time you spoke to me
You said “My angel is here” and
“I love you, always remember that”
How could I forget?

I felt your great love
In your big hugs,
Your words,
Your big, big heart.
You took food around
But not only that:
More importantly
You took with it
Love
and
Kindness
You never judged
Just hugged

I will always remember
Your support,
Your encouragement,
Your 9:30 Wednesday morning phone calls
Your coming in late Friday mornings
(After mopping your floor)
Your prayers for your boys
Your being the first, always the first
I can’t wait to see you in Heaven
With that bright crown
On your head
So humble
Now so exalted
I miss you Jen, I love you my friend, my angel
I thank God for you


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Wow

“The best training for a soldier of Christ is not merely a theological college. They always seem to turn out sausages of varying lengths, tied at each end, without the glorious freedom a Christian ought to abound and rejoice in. You see, when in hand-to-hand conflict with the world and the devil, neat little biblical confectionery is like shooting lions with a pea-shooter: one needs a man who will let himself go and deliver blows right and left as hard as he can hit, trusting in the Holy Ghost. The training is not that of the schools but of the market: it’s the hot, free heart and not the balanced head that knocks the devil out. Nothing but forked-lightning Christians will count. A lost reputation is the best degree for Christ’s service. It is not so much the degree of arts that is needed, but that of hearts, loyal and true, that love not their lives to the death: large and loving hearts which seek to save the lost multitudes, rather than guard the ninety-nine well-fed sheep in the British pen”. CT Studd


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Day-time Street Preaching

Misc 051

Yesterday morning I went into the city to street preach with two other women.

Every kind of opposition was thrown against us beforehand to try to stop us from going, including the fact that my five year old son came down with a severe case of croup on Monday night and was still sick yesterday.  Praise God for mothers though, mine looked after Tom while I went into the city.  I was reminded of CT Studd’s words: ” ‘Preach the Word’ is the rod the Devil fears and hates”….

 

But we got there.  It was a completely different ballgame to open air preach during the daylight hours.  At night time there are a lot of homeless people, youth hanging out, as well as people going home from work and others out for the night.  During the day there were older people, there were high school students on excursions with their teachers, there were tourists and group outings.  I felt conspicuous setting up the PA on the little raised area at the front of the station.  During the day, there is nowhere to hide, no cover of darkness at all.  You are very much out there.

 

It was my friend W’s first time out on the streets.  She was a complete natural.  After the three of us prayed together she immediately started going over to the people sitting on the steps and handing out tracts.  I began to preach after a moment of panic wondering in my new PA was loud enough.  It was, as long as I held the mike pressed against my chin.

 

After a while I thought that it is easier preaching during the day because nobody screamed at me to “Shut up” or anything worse.  What a breeze. I saw people laughing and mocking of course but people were quite polite.  That is until I went over to a nicely dressed couple after I had preached, to talk to them and saw that the opposition was in fact there, bubbling away just as fierce, but hidden under a well-dressed facade.

 

“Your literalism is wrong,” he sneered at me, “everything you say is wrong.”

 

We talked for a little while.  it was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had.  I can honestly say I have rarely spoken to anyone who has been so bitter and angry.  And he used to be a pastor for 20 years.  Scary. As we parted, he still spitting venom at me, Holy Spirit gave me the words to say to him: “And yet, Jesus, knowing that you were going to reject Him, still died for you…”  He shook his head and walked away.

 

That was just one experience though.  We had a good time. The Word went out and seeds were sown through the preaching, conversations and hundreds of tracts that were handed out.  At one point as I was preaching, some high school students out on an excursion, gathered in front of me and listened, much to their teacher’s consternation.

 

I’d like to thank those who were praying for us.  I thank God for the Body of Christ.

 

As we left the city and were driving home, W said to me, “I feel my whole life was building up to this point.  I am a different person.”

 

The preaching of the Word not only changes others, it changes us.

Hallelujah.

 

 

 

 

 


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How far are you willing to go?

The Holy Spirit showed me this one night in prayer and then I put it in a poem as best I could:

 

He waits for me

So joyful that I will follow

Follow the path of death

That leads to light

I need that light

To be full of that light

For then He says:

“These nail-pierced hands and feet

Are going into the darkness

I want you with Me

Will you come?”

Oh Lord, I just want to be with You

Where You are.

He says “There is much work to be done,

Come.”

We must redeem the time

For there’s not much left

 

We walk slowly

He could go ahead

But He waits for me

He steadies me when I stumble

He talks to me while we walk

I see that He really wants me there

With Him

Where He is

He says “The deeper we go into the darkness

The brighter your light will shine,

How far are you willing to go?”

(They plucked the beard

From His face)

How far are you willing to go?


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Hmmm..considering the black box

I am now the proud (also excited and a little scared) owner of this black beauty….

IMG_2606

I am excited because it means more autonomy as a street-preacher.  Also it means not having to rely on others’ and their equipment which will allow me more freedom.  It means that I can now go out during the day time as well as the night. But mainly it’s because owning this little baby is the consolidation and the establishment of a vision God gave me for my life years and years ago….

I remember the first time I ever saw an open-air street preacher.  I was walking through the city with my boyfriend (now husband) Matt.  We were out for a lovely day, strolling in the sunshine, holding  hands.  I saw this young guy with black hair standing on a little ledge at the bottom of an Anglican cathedral. He was holding a black Bible and reading from it.  There were three gothic youths standing around him listening respectfully.  Something about him, about what he was doing, laid hold of me.  It made no sense to me whatsoever, that he would stand there and do that, I mean to read from the Bible in public and not care what anyone thought of him was a foreign concept to me.  Yet I was drawn to him. I really wanted to stop and listen, but I couldn’t.  I don’t know why.  My legs just wouldn’t stop.  I couldn’t do it.  I kept on walking, but I kept looking back.  I remember the primary feeling I had for him was respect, because my primary thought  “That is something I could never do“.

After many experiences and years had gone by, there was one day when God gave me a vision of myself standing on a busy city street during the day and preaching.  Yes, preaching. No one was more astonished at the vision than I was, believe me.  It seemed so random that I actually dismissed it from my mind as an impossibility.  However I couldn’t dismiss it from my heart, because God had put it there.  It kept popping up, and popping up, and popping up until God must have decided that I was especially thick, and He had to make it very clear to me by calling me to go out to the road, (as I’ve detailed in “The Call” post).

So whilst I have been preaching in the city on Friday nights for two and a half years now, to be able to preach during the day is new to me.  This Friday, in fact, is when I will be starting this new adventure with a small group of ladies.  So it is very exciting that a vision which God gave to me years ago, as of Friday, will be brought into existence.

(I just want to take a moment here to encourage you to hold on to the dream or vision God has given you for your life.  And the more of an impossibility it seems to you, the more God will get the glory for it.)

However, it is also very scary to be the owner of this black box.  Why?  Um, because street preaching is scary.  Yes, I still find it scary.  I still get the shakes from nerves.  I still wonder why I am doing this to myself every time I drive into the city.    (That is, until the fire of God begins to burn so deeply within my soul that I just HAVE to preach, have to warn, have to share Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.  And the fire burns up the fear of man. It drives away the shakes and the fear…oh my friend – God is good, He will never leave you stranded – just try Him.)

It’s also scary to be entrusted with this responsibility.  The black box seems to stare at me from its solid position at my feet as if to say “You do realize that with me also comes more accountability, don’t you?  Don’t  you take me lightly now….”

I don’t ever want to take it lightly.  I want to appreciate more and more every day what my Jesus has done for me and is still doing for me and will continue to do for me.  He is my Lord and Saviour, He is my life, He is the reason for my being.  He is the love of my life.

Jesus, all for Jesus, all I am and have, and ever want to be…

God bless you

 


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Ha! Love it….

“It was strictly forbidden to preach to other prisoners, as it is in captive nations today. It was understood that whoever was caught doing this received a severe beating. A number of us decided to pay the price for the privilege of preaching, so we accepted their terms. It was a deal: we preached and they beat us. We were happy preaching; they were happy beating us – so everyone was happy.”

Richard Wurmbrand


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Tonight’s F-f-f-freezing Street Preaching 14 June 2013

flinders st

Christian – do you know that most high school and uni students think that the Theory of Evolution is a proven scientific fact?  Do you know that they don’t even know it is called the Theory of Evolution?  It has somehow along the way become simply “Evolution” and accepted as fact.

Christian – do you know that most heavy metal rockers are intelligent, deep thinkers who do not fit into society?  That these “outcasts” are angry at a world that they can’t fit into and are open to the gospel.  Some of the best, most articulate conversations I have had are with these guys.

Christian – do you know that most Westerners who accept Buddhism and its teachings do so because they think it’s all about peace and love and have no idea of the real teachings of the Seen Ha, karma, the wheel of suffering and reincarnation.

Christian – do you know that most youth are looking for direction?  That they cover up their fear with mockery.  Do you know that if you persist with them as a mother or father would and speak the truth (even hard truths) to them in love that the mockery and fear will break away and they will come to respond to the gospel and even respect you for it?

Christian – do you know that a lot of people will actually thank you for taking the time to speak to them on the street?

 

“Preach abroad…It is the cooping yourselves up in rooms that has damped the work of God, which never was and never will be carried out to any purpose without going out into the highways and hedges and compelling them to come in.”  John Wesley

 

Love & blessings to you