Human selfishness, self-absorption and self-focus become absolutely stark in the face of losing two of the most selfless, giving women I have ever known. I lost my Jenny, on Saturday. I lost my Grandma on Tuesday night.
Jenny was my friend, my helper for 3 years in the food pantry, my support, my encourager, the glue that held things together.
Grandma was part of the foundation of who I am. She was someone who loved me unconditionally, unreservedly. She was my Granny-Apple-Bee.
Both women have gone home to Christ, and for that I am so grateful. yet I still feel I have been kicked in the guts. The pain I feel for them is real physical pain. that has surprised me.
I miss them so much. And I don’t know who to grieve for. sometimes I cry over jenny, I think of her phone calls, her telling me I’m special. I think of her real, down-to-earth practical help and I know that she is unique.
sometimes I cry for my grandma. when I heard that she haad gone I cried out for her “grandma, grandma, I want my grandma” I went into shock and shook uncontrollably.
I don’t know why im writing this on here it s so raw, but I feel I must.
when I think of Jesus saying “the son of man came not to be served, but to serve” I have seen that literally in these two women and I miss them more.
August 8, 2013 at 5:06 am
I love that you are completely open with your grief. Being so transparent helps others feel less alone and this is another expression of a gift you already give. You *are* a gift and incredibly special. I feel so privileged to be able to call you ‘sister’. Love you. Xo
August 9, 2013 at 10:23 pm
Thank you Mel, I love you too and will never forget your help on Thursday. xx
August 9, 2013 at 10:06 am
Having lost grandma and Jenny too – I concure with you. The pain is a physical one, but the wonderful thing is that both of these ladies will be in heaven with the Lord Jesus now. What a comfort for us all.
August 9, 2013 at 10:24 pm
Yes that’s so true. He is the God of all comfort.
August 9, 2013 at 9:09 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss, Belinda. But praising God that both Jenny and your grandma are with Jesus. My husband’s dad just went home to be with Him a couple of weeks ago. We were comforted with the the truth of this quote. “Death is not extinguishing the light from the Christian; it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come..” I’m not sure where it originated but it’s truth is found in scripture .”They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever..” (Revelation 22:5) As they live on in heaven, their memory will live on here . . . in the heart of selflessness and giving that they’ve clearly planted in you. Praying for your comfort, as you carry on in their memory.
August 9, 2013 at 10:20 pm
THank you Peg, that is beautiful. I praise God that they are both with the Lord and that one day we will be together again “…and so shall we ever be with the Lord.” (1 Thess 4:17)
August 21, 2013 at 9:24 am
thank you for honestly sharing your greif
August 24, 2013 at 9:44 am
Thank you, and thanks for reading.