Grace and Truth

…all the words of this life…


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Grief and the Song of Moses

Grief is strange.

You go along fine for a while. And then all of a sudden…another wave descends, and you are plunged beneath the depths of it. It encompasses you and you have no choice but to let it carry you along for a while.

Then after you’ve been thrown around for a bit, after you’re soaked through with tears and your heart pierced with pain and memories, the grief sets you down and rolls away again.

Until the next wave….

Last August my friend Jenny went to be with the Lord. It was sudden, unexpected.

Four days after Jenny went, my Grandma also went to be Jesus.

I went into shock when my Grandma went.

Jenny called me “her angel”….Jenny was “my Jenny”.
Grandma called me “dearest”…..I called her my “Granny Apple-Bee”, or GAB for short.

I miss them so much.

I don’t understand why they had to go at the same time.

But I know Jesus. And even though it was terrible and painful and incomprehensible, and sometimes still is, yet will I trust Him. He is my life. Without Him I am undone.

My Grandma’s favourite hymn was “I am weak, but thou art strong”. OH Lord help me.

My Jenny’s favourite song was “The Song of Moses”. I still haven’t been able to listen to it since she went home but I am putting the link here for you to watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF-Ald7IPfA in honour of her and my Granny-Apple-Bee. It is one of the most beautiful songs in the world, straight from Revelation 15.

I love knowing that they are with Him in heaven singing the Song of Moses and of the Lamb.

God bless you this Passover season

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God of All Comfort

Jesus I love you so much.
I thank you that you are in control of everything.
The times and seasons are truly in your hands.
You are the great and mighty God,
How wonderful are your ways.

What you take from us with your left hand,
You give back to us with your right hand.
You will never leave us comfortless
Because you have sent the Comforter.

God you know what we feel,
God you know what we go through,
God you know loss,
Your only begotten Son died too.

But He rose again
And He is the first fruits
The others will be resurrected in the last day too
“Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together
With them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air:
And so shall we ever be with the Lord”

I choose to praise you
I will exalt your Holy Name
‘Cause even though I don’t understand everything
One thing I know for sure
Is that you are worthy to be praised
And you are on the Throne
My Jesus


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Human selfishness, self-absorption and self-focus become absolutely stark in the face of losing two of the most selfless, giving women I have ever known. I lost my Jenny, on Saturday. I lost my Grandma on Tuesday night.

Jenny was my friend, my helper for 3 years in the food pantry, my support, my encourager, the glue that held things together.

Grandma was part of the foundation of who I am. She was someone who loved me unconditionally, unreservedly. She was my Granny-Apple-Bee.

Both women have gone home to Christ, and for that I am so grateful. yet I still feel I have been kicked in the guts. The pain I feel for them is real physical pain. that has surprised me.

I miss them so much. And I don’t know who to grieve for. sometimes I cry over jenny, I think of her phone calls, her telling me I’m special. I think of her real, down-to-earth practical help and I know that she is unique.

sometimes I cry for my grandma. when I heard that she haad gone I cried out for her “grandma, grandma, I want my grandma” I went into shock and shook uncontrollably.

I don’t know why im writing this on here it s so raw, but I feel I must.

when I think of Jesus saying “the son of man came not to be served, but to serve” I have seen that literally in these two women and I miss them more.


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Jenny

Your name means ‘white light’
And that is so true
For to me you were an angel
Although that is what you called me

The last time you spoke to me
You said “My angel is here” and
“I love you, always remember that”
How could I forget?

I felt your great love
In your big hugs,
Your words,
Your big, big heart.
You took food around
But not only that:
More importantly
You took with it
Love
and
Kindness
You never judged
Just hugged

I will always remember
Your support,
Your encouragement,
Your 9:30 Wednesday morning phone calls
Your coming in late Friday mornings
(After mopping your floor)
Your prayers for your boys
Your being the first, always the first
I can’t wait to see you in Heaven
With that bright crown
On your head
So humble
Now so exalted
I miss you Jen, I love you my friend, my angel
I thank God for you